Twice a day seems reasonable given the stage we're at.
At night, she sleeps in wire kennel (covered with red blanket btw) outside our bedroom and the same kennel is moved to the kitchen for meals and the left alone in the kennel nap times. She likes the kennel and goes in willingly at night to go to bed and to eat her meals.
Should I use same red blanket to cover kennel during daytime left alones in kitchen?
I would give it a try! See if it helps minimize the crying when you leave. She wouldn’t be able to see out, and it gives the sense of a dark, comfy den for her.
Great ideas which we will now employ. Can't thank you enough! So grateful for your support.
And, in summary, you are suggesting several (2-3) times a day we have her go into kennel and we leave the room? We've only been doing once a day because of our reluctance. She did stay quiet yesterday for 20 minutes during day.
Should we put the same cover on the kennel during the day that we use at night? The kennel is in the kitchen during the day and right outside our bedroom door at night.
Yes, I’d try bumping it up to twice a day for short periods right now. Your goal at this point is to build it up so you can leave her for one longer portion of time. Think about what your life and your schedule requires of you - that will help a lot! Are you only gone for maybe an hour a day or do you need to leave for five hours every so often? Are you moving the crate room to room daily? I kept Bella’s in one space for continuity and daily ease. Hers was (and still is) kept in my bedroom. It was always covered with a dark red blanket (all I had at the time and it works well).
Please tell us your experience in training Bella to be left alone. How old was she when you started training, how long did it take, what method(s) did you follow, how many times per day did you do the training, etc. River is great about sleeping in her kennel overnight (occasionally mild whimpering but not for too long) and eats a portion of her meals in the kennel but when we try and leave her in the kennel during the day (at beginning of a nap time), she'll cry/whimper for as long as 5-10 minutes. We'll say "Hush, good girl" when she is quiet and eventually she'll stop whimpering and is quiet for maybe 10-20 minutes. One article I read said if the dog continues to cry, you are starting this training too early. Another article said leave a toy or food-stuffed kong in the kennel but I don't like the idea of leaving something in the kennel then going out.
Your experiences and how you did it will help us make a plan for how to move forward. River is 13 weeks and we feel we must get this conquered or we'll never be able to leave her!
Hi Faith! Thanks so much for kicking off the forum and asking such a great question!
So glad she's sleeping well in her crate! It sounds like she's really doing the best she can at this age. Yes, she is still a young pup, but this type of training can still be done!
It could actually be extremely helpful to leave something with her in the crate. Nothing they can accidentally choke on like hard chews and no toys. But a Kong with frozen goodies inside or a lick mat of sorts (Chewy has this option that sticks in the crate - linking below). This is really one of the best ways to allow River to distract and calm herself. She needs to feel comfortable being alone in this space for periods of time.
At twelve weeks+ she should be able to be alone. With interval training, put her in her crate for short stints while you do what you need to around the house/in other rooms. Give her those goodies. Crate = yummy things = calm puppy = quiet puppy.
I also recommend playing some music or putting on a calming TV show. When Bella was a wee pup I bought a puppy sleeping soundtrack from iTunes and I play that for her still when I leave! Another friend of mine found out her dog Neville loves listening to The Great British Baking Show, so when they leave the house he gets to listen to their calming voices! I always put a little treat in Bella's crate when I leave. Doggy friend Neville gets that too. It's just a nice little incentive for them as they go in to enjoy their alone time. Make the crate River's go-to happy, safe space by adding in these things for her (goodie + calming sounds). It could help too to "den" her crate if you haven't already done so. Bella has a dark blanket that covers the exposed side.
She'll end up falling asleep eventually! They can't cry and whine forever :) I know it's hard to listen to and it hurts our hearts, but it is helping them (and you!) in the long run. Think about the long term - one day you might need to be gone for four hours. Train today for the future.
Some dogs could just need a bit longer than others - remember that (like humans) every pup is different! We need to go at their own pace. Just because one pup figured it out in a week and another needs a month and a half, doesn't mean that the other one is slow. Everyone learns at different speeds :) Don't be hard on yourself at all. Take it day by day. Have patience!! For yourself and River.
Final notes - I totally understand the desire to constantly be around your dog. I love being with Bella, and she with me. If I had it my way, we'd be attached at the hip 24/7. But think about the people you spend your life with. Yes, you love each other. But, oh dang, there are some times you just need to get away from them and have some alone time. It's just healthy living! Our dogs need to learn to be alone or have fun without us (and us without them).
For the first few months Bella was with me, I didn't leave her alone for more than an hour. (Even that's exaggerating - maybe more like 30 minutes if I'm thinking realistically.)
And believe me when I say every minute hurt me as I watched her on the camera (LOL!). But by not giving her that time away from me, it was detrimental to her too. I remember she was about five months old when I had to go to a work meeting. I knew it would be at least an hour, maybe two, so I left her with my mom. My mom reported back that Bella sat by the stairs and cried and whined for a solid hour while I was gone. Nothing my mom did to distract her worked. That's when we realized I really needed to step up my game and teach her to be fine without me. To start off we would play "games" with the crate, teaching her to go in by herself rather than me forcing her inside. Toss a treat in, say "crate" (or whatever your word is for it), and praise her when she goes in. Keep doing this, tossing the small, smelly treat further and further in so she learns to go all the way inside all by herself. As Bella got more comfortable entering and exiting it, we began that interval training. When she was in her crate, I would leave to grab the mail to start. Quick, 15 minutes. Then push the time longer and longer. Soon I was able to enjoy the apartment complex pool with friends for an hour and a half - I would check on Bella and she'd be happily sleeping inside her crate.
Today Bella is a year and 7 months. She stays with my mom two days a week while I teach and goes to Day Camp the third day I teach. She loves all three of those days away from me.
The other night I was invited to a neighbor's house and I left Bella at home. I thought I would only be about an hour so I decided to let Bella free-roam. Turned out to be two and a half hours! I checked the camera twice - the first time Bella was enjoying her dinner I had for her in a puzzle game and the second time she was sleeping. It made me so happy to know she was able to be comfortable on her own (in a practically new home, no less!). I know you'll be able to get to this point with River. But don't expect it right away. It all takes time, practice, and patience. You got this!
I know I wrote a novel. But I hope all this helps! :)
Twice a day seems reasonable given the stage we're at.
At night, she sleeps in wire kennel (covered with red blanket btw) outside our bedroom and the same kennel is moved to the kitchen for meals and the left alone in the kennel nap times. She likes the kennel and goes in willingly at night to go to bed and to eat her meals.
Should I use same red blanket to cover kennel during daytime left alones in kitchen?
Great ideas which we will now employ. Can't thank you enough! So grateful for your support.
And, in summary, you are suggesting several (2-3) times a day we have her go into kennel and we leave the room? We've only been doing once a day because of our reluctance. She did stay quiet yesterday for 20 minutes during day.
Should we put the same cover on the kennel during the day that we use at night? The kennel is in the kitchen during the day and right outside our bedroom door at night.
Hi Kaitlin,
Please tell us your experience in training Bella to be left alone. How old was she when you started training, how long did it take, what method(s) did you follow, how many times per day did you do the training, etc. River is great about sleeping in her kennel overnight (occasionally mild whimpering but not for too long) and eats a portion of her meals in the kennel but when we try and leave her in the kennel during the day (at beginning of a nap time), she'll cry/whimper for as long as 5-10 minutes. We'll say "Hush, good girl" when she is quiet and eventually she'll stop whimpering and is quiet for maybe 10-20 minutes. One article I read said if the dog continues to cry, you are starting this training too early. Another article said leave a toy or food-stuffed kong in the kennel but I don't like the idea of leaving something in the kennel then going out.
Your experiences and how you did it will help us make a plan for how to move forward. River is 13 weeks and we feel we must get this conquered or we'll never be able to leave her!
Thanks so much!!
Faith